Web Hosting and Dedicated Servers

Members of the Luther community support Coming Out Week

Date 10/26/2000 12:00 AM | Topic: Opinion

Tolerance, acceptance and understanding: The true nature of alliance

What does it mean for me to be an ally, an "A" in the GLBTA equation? Over the last few years I have changed my mind about what being an ally requires.

At first I thought that tolerance and acceptance were the key. I have a safe zone sign on my door. I do not make homophobic jokes, and when other people make them in my presence, I express my disgust. Before, I would have thought that these kinds of things would be enough to make me an ally.

While I still think that tolerance and acceptance are necessary, I no longer think they are sufficient. As an ally, I think it is also important for me to understand the nature of heterosexual privilege. Because I am a person that society labels "straight," I have all kinds of unearned privileges. I never had to come out. My sexual orientation is normal, and it is reinforced by the images that surround me regularly. No one refers to me as a heterosexual professor or treats my heterosexuality as the defining part of my life. I am able to enjoy the rights that come with marriage. I never had to worry about disappointing my parents' image of me. I have been able to define myself in a way that has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I have never had to worry that I would be teased or beaten up on the basis of my sexual orientation. And so on, and so on.

Tolerance and acceptance are not sufficient, because without an understanding of privilege to accompany them, I am liable to inadvertently perpetuate oppression. For example, by assuming that straight is the default, I was not able to understand why it was so uncomfortable for my sister to be with our family. I thought she was stubborn. It never occurred to me that it might be painful and frightening continually to be asked about boyfriends. I never even noticed how often we did this. Hence, even though I never made jokes in her presence, I participated in an atmosphere that perpetuated the oppression of people who are attracted to the same sex.

Moreover, an understanding of privilege better enables me to confront and resist oppression. I cannot actively undermine heterosexual privilege unless I understand it. Undermining heterosexual privilege is to the benefit of GLBT people, obviously. But I think that it is also to the benefit of straight people. Can I truly be free to define myself when my friends and family aren't fully free? Is my freedom to have the relationship of my choice fully meaningful when my sister cannot choose without fear? Being an ally is important for everyone.

Christine Weigel,

professor of philosophy

--

[ Comment, Edit or Article Submission ]